is a welcome surprise
Kayıt Tarihi: 29-Aralık-2009
Aktif Durum: Aktif Değil
Konu: is a welcome surprise
Gönderim Zamanı: 29-Aralık-2009 Saat 10:19
How many times have you gotten upset because someone wasn’t doing their job, because your child isn’t behaving, because your
partner or friend isn’t living up to his or her end of the bargain?
How many times have you been irritated when someone doesn’t do things the way you’re used to? Or when you’ve planned something
carefully and things didn’t go as you’d hoped?
This kind of anger and irritation happens to all of us — it’s part of the human experience.
One thing that irritates me is when people talk during a movie. Or cut me off in traffic. Or don’t wash their dishes after
eating. Actually, I have a lot of these little annoyances — don’t we all?
And it isn’t always easy to find peace when you’ve become upset or irritated.
Let me let you in on a little secret to finding peace of mind: see the glass as already broken.
See, the cause of our stress, anger and irritation is that things don’t go the way we like, the way we expect them to. Think of
how many times this has been true for you.
unexpected to happen. And accept it.
One quick example: on our recent trip to Japan, I told my kids to expect things to go wrong — they always do on a trip. I told
them, “See it as part of the adventure.”
And this worked like a charm. When we inevitably took the wrong train on a foreign-language subway system, or when it rained on
the day we went to Disney Sea, or when we took three trains and walked 10 blocks only to find the National Children’s Castle
closed on Mondays … they said, “It’s part of the adventure!” And it was all OK — we didn’t get too bothered.
So when the nice glass you bought inevitably falls and breaks, someday, you might get upset. But not if you see the glass as
already broken, from the day you get it. You know it’ll break someday, so from the beginning, see it as already broken. Be a
time-traveler, or someone with time-traveling vision, and see the future of this glass, from this moment until it inevitably
And when it breaks, you won’t be upset or sad — because it was already broken, from the day you got it. And you’ll realize that
every moment you have with it is precious.
Expect your child to mess up — all children do. And don’t get so upset when they mess up, when they don’t do what they’re
“supposed” to do … because they’re supposed to mess up.
Expect your partner to be less than perfect.
Expect your friend to not show up sometimes.
Expect things to go not according to plan.
Expect people to be rude sometimes.
Expect coworkers not to come through sometimes.
Expect roommates not to wash their dishes or pick up their clothes, sometimes.
Expect the glass to break.
And accept it.
happening, before it happens — you won’t get so upset.
You won’t overreact. You’ll respond appropriately, but not overreact. You can talk to the person about their behavior, and ask
them kindly to consider your feelings when they do this … but you won’t get overly emotional and blow things out of proportion.
You’ll smile, and think, “I expected that to happen. The glass was already broken. And I accept that.”
You’ll have peace of mind. And that, my friends, is a welcome surprise.
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